Six reasons to fully experience the experience. #creativity #mojo

What does “experience” have to do with increasing creativity and mojo? I don’t mean experience in the past-tense as a cumulative effort, but the present moment. Right now, fully feeling whatever experience you’re going through and being fully present when you’re experiencing that moment. Your mind isn’t back in your work day or fast-forwarded to your butt planted in front of the TV or worse, tomorrow’s to-do list (unless you are actively sitting and writing down said list.)

I’ve had the most creative two years of my life as I make small adjustments to my schedule and routine and carefully curate who, what and where my life goes. I wouldn’t be able to do that if I wasn’t fully present to know (deeply knowing as a feeling) how to make those choices. In the last blog I talked about the importance of taking turns in life – and giving yourself permission to spend time with people and activities. But now I’m taking that a step ahead with HOW you are experiencing those turns.

1. Enhancing your creativity 

means being fully open to your surroundings – all five senses plus that important sixth sense (awareness of self having the experience, much like wakeful meditation.)

2. Increasing mojo and learning 

comes from allowing yourself to make the most out of every conversation and situation. Even “mundane” situations can provide very beneficial interactions and even enjoyment. Happiness can simply come from smiling at the mailman. Which I do. Every day. And you *will* miss a learning opportunity if you aren’t fully paying attention. Or miss that turn. Which I still do.

3. Amplifying gratitude brings more fulfillment and peace. I used to think gratitude was being grateful AFTER the fact, but have found if I practice 24/7 gratitude, I have more meaningful interactions all the time and it’s circular. I’m a witness to the gratitude as well as a beneficiary and messenger for the gratitude.
4. Mindful living decreases stress. When people say, “I don’t know how you do it,” when they see what I do in my personal and professional life, I can honestly say it’s because I try to be mindful in my actions, assess my mind/body/spirit space continuously so I know when to stop or slow down. I do know the more physically active I am the less stress I feel. (That’s science, not a breakthrough.) But it’s one of those things you have to experience for yourself to “get.” Being mindful also allows that sixth sense (the higher self) to diffuse an ugly situation and not internalize it. I make mistakes ALL THE TIME, but I normally hear about them quickly, don’t freak out, and create a FIX IT plan, whether that’s a revision or an entirely different plan b.
5. You don’t have to be “zen” to embrace experiential mindful living. However, you WILL become less uptight naturally. Which is the best, right? We’re not forcing ourselves to chill by checking it off a long to-do list. We naturally chill. If you think I’m a hippie “go with the flowy” type, that’s a label that probably wouldn’t stick because I am still a Type A Doer who sees that a Type B mindset can be beneficial to the harmony that we need to not give ourselves heart disease.
6. You end up attracting what you want in life. (That means actually asking for it, too.) See Thunder story below.

For some us, Seeing/Watching comes pretty natural, too, but we’re also talking about engaging when we can instead of just watching/being. Writers and many creative types are people watchers and can give you amazing details about what they just witnessed or experienced. But that frequency is available to all of us. Tune in instead of tuning out. 

Last night my teen son and I were invited to the Thunder/Memphis NBA playoff in Oklahoma City  with seats in the corner pocket just a few rows up from the floor. The seats were amazing, the excitement and energy of an NBA game is palpable, and I soaked it in. Now the Thunder puts t-shirts they would like players to wear during the game on the chairs as a sponsored freebie during playoff games.) I saw some Memphis fans in the section over and thought, “why not ask them for the shirts?” I know lots some family who’d love a free Thunder shirt. So I went up to the young guys, and they gladly handed them over. Then another Memphis fan two seats over gave me HIS shirt, too. And then when I told my friend about the three shirts I’d been given, he handed me his daughter’s shirt (it’s an XL, she’s 5.) So I asked for two shirts and eded up with four. I know that’s a small example of how the law of being mindful works. You often get even more than you ask for! You see an opportunity and have the confidence to go for it. I do the same thing when I’m pitching new client projects (which are valued in the thousands) and in taking risks which can have emotional and financial rewards.

I’ve mentioned before – and it’s worth repeating – that social media CAN enhance connection and mindfulness (such as taking a photo on Instagram to remember later and share your appreciation of it) as long as it doesn’t keep you from connecting with those IN REAL LIFE around you. I’m guilty of this and have to force myself to leave my phone or iPad in another room so I’m not tempted to see what’s happening online. But whatever works for you.

A small gallery from this week on moments I want to remember AND the covers for my upcoming summer books, TWIN FALLS and FAMILY CHARMS (click to see slideshow and captions).

With my MIL at THE GREAT GATSBY. A must-see for film buffs and romantics alike.

Literally “decked out” my deck with colors and patterns and comfort. My happy place.

How often do we forget the little things we get for Mother’s Days or birthdays? And it shows my hubby knows what – and who – I like. :)

Dance is a big part of my life because it’s my daughter’s life. Here this candid went from silly to hysterical when I noticed the dog peeing in the background.

In my two-year quest to create my dream vintage modern glam space, I’ve loved shopping for what’s “me.” This new leather sleeper sectional will be handy and it’s gorgeous.

While I vocally don’t like my daughter borrowing my iPad for dance videos, the stills are a reminder of her growth as a dancer. And I adore her.

Instagram lets me take these little slices of life – like beer, boots and basketball. My son didn’t want a picture, but he’s sitting next to me. A fun evening, even though we lost.

Cover reveal for my 5th women’s fiction novel, FAMILY CHARMS, coming in July!

Cover reveal for my upcoming young adult debut series, Messengers, beginning with TWIN FALLS.

Other Book News:

Get the young adult treasure hunt short story, TREASURE QUEST, by Cara Brookins, free in the Kindle store May 16-18th.

Will be announcing the summer “sisterhood” book tour (virtual and real life) soon! Stay tuned and thanks for reading. I’m also thrilled that my novel FIXER UPPER has overtaken LIFE’S A BEACH as my best seller. I love the story and am glad it’s being recommended and purchased more! I noticed it has only six reviews, so if you’ve read and loved it, I hope you’ll consider taking a  moment to leave a review to tell other readers about it. I appreciate you!

 

 

 

Summer and Taking Turns

The end of the school year is mocking me. I can hear summer coming, whistling and skipping closer to me while I shrink back into the shadows, covering my ears and pretending the days of “I’m bored” and endless interruption aren’t at hand.

As a mom, summer is a blessing. No more early morning ritual! Sleeping in (for them) and fewer chauffeur hours rocks. The downside is that as a work-at-home mom with a full-time workload (and getting bigger), I don’t get the quiet that I do when it’s just me and my dogs. 8:30 to 2:20 now becomes just numbers on the clock. Anxiety kicks in about this time because I get so accustomed to my daily grind that the slower pace and humanergy makes it harder for me to focus and get sh** done. Because that’s what it all boils down to.

Then again, I LOVE MY KIDS. GOD, THEY ARE GROWING UP FAST. I MUST TREASURE EVERY MOMENT!

Am I venting? A little, but there is a solution; one that was brought on when I realized it was a fantasy to get everyone together to do “family stuff.” It’s a concept we’ve been familiar with since childhood: taking turns.

Yes, I’m talking PATIENCE and waiting a bit. I’m also referring to taking turns with my loved ones. Besides going for sno cones, there isn’t much my kids (15 down to 8) agree on. I can sometimes get both boys to ride bikes with me. I can get my 13-year-old girl to go shopping or for pedis or a dance-related event. My hubby is always up for date night. My girlfriends go for wine and great conversation. My sisters crave sister time and so do I.  I NO LONGER WAIT FOR A PERFECT TIME TO DO ANYTHING.

If there was, guess what? I’d still be waiting.

Instead, I SAY YES to one-on-one activities that mean something to my kids, my friends, my husband, my sisters. The gallery below is a sample from the last week. It was a busy, wonderful, soul-filled week. I also worked my butt off for my clients and my authors. I took turns. And as summer approaches, I have to remember to keep doing that – taking turns with the summer camps and dance classes and book signings and writing and design and branding AND some R&R. For me, work/life balance isn’t a balancing act at all, but about taking turns and trying to be fully present in whatever you’re doing and whomever you’re doing it with.

What about you? What are your plans this summer? Are you good at taking turns in your life? How do you do it?

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On the book front, I’ll be sharing the covers for TWIN FALLS, my YA paranormal written under my pen name Lena Brown and my fifth women’s fiction novel, FAMILY CHARMS, in the next blog post so subscribe if you haven’t. If you’d like to be an early reader of EITHER book (summer releases), comment or message me on Facebook. xoM

EVENT ALERT: I’ll be signing books at Embassy Suites Norman Saturday from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. so come see me! I’ll have Something Wicked, Sleigh Ride, The Stork Reality, Something New and Dance Mom Survival Guide with me!

Dance Mom Forever Mix

My dance mom BFF Jill Martin and I are doing some videos to promote our new book, DANCE MOM SURVIVAL GUIDE. Of course you can make this healthy trail mix no matter what your kids – or you – are into. Enjoy! Nom, nom, dark chocolate chips!

Making History Right Now

What does living authentically mean? My #truedo list:

• Learning, discerning, improving and believing.
• Purposeful action.
• Listening with an open mind with awareness to your reaction and thoughts.
• Trusting yourself to do what is best for you despite what others may think.
• Going for it.
• Living your passion, even if that’s only part-time or a hobby.
• Incorporating people, places and things that you love into your life.
• Carving away negative thoughts, actions and people.
• Understanding your true gifts WANT to be used, not hidden.

I’m celebrating women’s history month all month long on my author page over on Facebook. Isn’t it amazing the achievements that we’ve made in the last 200 years? Women have come a long way, but we don’t have to WAIT for our time to shine. We should bring our own sunshine, even though some days it feel darn near impossible.

If you like colorful shoes, wear them.

If your business, church or family life isn’t working for you, examine your heart and figure out why. And then take action.

Trying to find the good in all things is more than a character exercise, it’s a growth tool. What lesson can I learn from this? What beauty can I see? What do I have to be grateful for? What can I give back?

You can make history right now by trying something new, by expanding your horizons, by believing in yourself to make change and then going for it. I can speak to wanting to “do it all.” But I’ve been working for the last ten years on becoming a better listener. When the Universe (God) talks, I’m all ears. When I got an email from a local editor telling me that she had a young woman freelancing for her that was interested in working in publishing and PR, I knew it was a sign. Because I’ve needed help, but wasn’t sure how to go about finding it. I was nervous that saying “yes” to an assistant would mean I was somehow failing instead of seeing that it could help me grow (as well as relieving stress!)

And Kristine is working out beautifully. Because of her, I’ll meet and exceed my goals. I just need to be patient and trust and guide.

When I’m working with a branding client, I remember my place as both listener and consultant. They are paying me to advise them, but if I don’t listen well, I can’t produce the most effective results. The same goes with my authors at Buzz Books. I can’t build a name for them without them working 5x as hard as I am. We are each responsible for building our own tribe. I can only control my actions; not theirs.

That goes for each of us in our relationships.

So let’s make some history. In this case, Herstory, and review our goals for family, work, wellness and friendship and growth and plug in action plan to live authentically, joyfully and an open mind and heart. What’s on your list?

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Book news: DANCE MOM SURVIVAL GUIDE will be published March 12! I’m so excited it’s here and it’s been a complete blessing to work with my co-author Jill Martin on the book! I’m busy editing FAMILY CHARMS to get it to my editor for a July release in trade paperback and ebook. Also FIXER UPPER my DIY girl power novel is gaining traction and will be available in trade paperback later this spring. My first YA novel, TWIN FALLS is with my editor and will be released this summer under my pen name Lena Brown. Exciting, busy, wonderful!

Is JOY on your True Do list?

Standing in front of sixty business people last week, a familiar friend surfaced.

She visited again as I sailed down the hill in my neighborhood on my bike, just feet behind my 7 year-old.

Even more surprisingly, she showed up yesterday afternoon in downtown Edmond while I stood with a camera in front of two girls doing leaps and jumps I won’t even pretend I can pronounce.

The friend? Joy. Not a flesh-and-blood girlfriend, but the emotion that seems to sneak up on me when I least expect it. Why? Because I haven’t put her on the to-do list – which I’ve renamed my True Do list this year.

Last year was my hermit year. I worked like crazy, made good money, and was productive as hell. But. Make that, “BUT!!!” I was a wee bit stressed out, even after I started a regular practice of yoga and meditation (which helps immensely.)

But JOY? Not so much. We had some good times, some good trips, some fun family memories, but I didn’t feel joy. Was it me? Was I so stressed I didn’t let her in or was she so buried under my to-do list I didn’t let her catch a breath? Maybe. But no more.

My True Do list means I’m doing more for fun, for me, for replenishing and recharging. At first I was afraid it would be selfish, but then I realized it included other people! I’m saying yes to getting out there, like speaking to the LOYAL leadership class last week in Oklahoma City. I had a blast speaking about branding and got some great feedback. I thought, “I need to get out more often!” And when my little guy who won’t be little for long asks me to go ride bikes, I say, “yes.” No matter what I’m doing, I take a break and go for a quick ride, which is something I’ve loved to do since I was his age.

In writing DANCE MOM SURVIVAL GUIDE I get to work with one of my best girlfriends and we get to include our dancing daughters, which brings us all closer. That photo shoot was fun because I let it be. The girls were loving it and I got caught up in their energy. I felt young and light and almost like I could jump in the air like them! (But, um, no.)

I think the key to making joy a #truedo is saying yes to the fun, diminishing stress where we can and staying in the present moment where there is only the now, not a what’s-next. If you’re a list-maker like I am, why not keep a list of things that bring us joy? From the little things like putting my favorite creamer in my coffee (mocha) to how much fun I have Saturday mornings in hip-hop to the bliss I feel while gazing up at the moon and stars from my hot tub. What would me on your list?

How can you incorporate more joy in your life? Let me know if it sneaks up on you, too.

xo,

Malena

Next Big Thing Blog Hop: Twin Falls, Paranormal YA

My first Lena Brown short story was featured in PROM DATES TO DIE FOR.

Special thanks to author Brenda Janowitz, RECIPE FOR A HAPPY LIFE (St. Martin’s Press July 2013)
for inviting me on a new round of the Next Big Thing Blog Hop. This time I’m promoting a book by my younger alter ego, Lena Brown, (younger because I feel like a teenager when I write teen books!) I’d also like to thank author Ka Hancock for including me in her blog hop: http://kahancock.com/blog/

A blog hop is like a giant game of tag to help readers discover authors who are new to them. For this hop, authors are answering 10 questions about what we’re working on now. This week, I’m it.

I’M GIVING AWAY FIVE ADVANCE COPIES OF THE BOOK TO READERS WHO WOULD BE WILLING TO REVIEW IT, SO LEAVE A COMMENT FOR A CHANCE. I was tagged by Brenda Janowitz (http://brendajanowitz.blogspot.com). Visit her blog to see who else she tagged. At the end of this post, I’ll tag more authors who will be joining the hop next week. Follow the hop long enough and you’re bound to find books you’ll love!

Here is my Next Big Thing!1: What is the working title of your book? TWIN FALLS, a young adult paranormal novel
2: Where did the idea come from for the book? I’ve been fascinated with two things all of my life: twins and angels, so decided to combine them.
3: What genre does your book come under? contemporary paranormal, young adult
4: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? Just shy of her 16th birthday, a girl moves back to the family ranch in Twin Falls, Texas after her mother is mysteriously murdered and discovers she’s part of a legacy that goes back to the beginning of time.
6: Is your book self-published, published by an independent publisher, or represented by an agency? Buzz Books USA trade paperback and ebook
7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? The first draft took about six months. I worked on it every day to keep my head in the story.
8: What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? Series by Tara Hudson, Rachel Vincent and Cassandra Clare.
9: Who or what inspired you to write this book? Secret identity and hidden powers and really wishing I could fly.
10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? Really hot teen cowboy angels – good and bad boys. And haven’t you always wondered if you had an identical twin out there somewhere?

Below you will find authors who will be joining the blog hop next Wednesday. Do be sure to bookmark and add them to your calendars for updates on WIPs and New Releases! Happy Writing and Reading!

And leave a comment on THE SUPER POWER YOU WISH YOU HAD for a chance to win an ARC of Twin Falls. 

Next Wednesday, visit these cool authors to learn their next big thing:

Heather Davis

Aaron Smith

Kelly Parra

Dani Stone

Lucie Smoker

True Do Track for living a You-Full 2013

For the Type A among us, a to-do list feels as automatic as brushing our teeth or blinking. So with that in mind, I created a True Do Track for my readers to join me in trying to live our best year yet. Less stress. Less drama. More fun. More adventure. More authentic relationships and actions. Not to just dream it, but do it. Living in truth means living the life we were uniquely meant to live, utilizing our gifts. Yes, it’s self-helpy because we all need that tap on the shoulder that reminds us to keep our mind, body, spirit in alignment.

For January, our True Do Track focus is Journaling. I’m including a daily prompt on my Facebook page, but you can certainly write whatever comes to mind! Writing not only helps our true selves surface and to deal with any issues we may be dealing with, but stating our dreams does help them come to fruition in our lives. (Law of Attraction, only put more action in the attraction.)

And each week I’ll include a giveaway. Since we’re journaling in January, that’s the weekly prize! Check out these cool colorful journals. Drawings are held on Friday and include those who have a) Liked my author page and b) have commented on the daily prompts or shared the picture posted at the top. The more active you are, the more entries you get. But even if all you are doing is reading it and actually journaling, I’m happy you are taking this step with me.

Book news:

Hope Floats is now available on Kindle! The short story and essay collection includes stories on loss and living on so if you have been affected by grief, you might relate to these situations. Topics include miscarriage, death of loved ones, suicide and my life as a motherless mother and how my feelings on gun control were shaped by gun violence in my life.

Are You the Little Brand That Could?

When I was brainstorming ideas for a branding book, the story of the little engine that could kept coming to mind. Every aspect of building the train, creating the journeys, getting passengers and making the tough journey despite the odds all seemed very relevant. I’ve personally witnessed and assisted more than 150 little brands with strategy and campaigns, from start-from-scratch branding to overhaul projects of 100 year old companies.

Every brand does have a unique story, but some things remain the same: finding your different/better/special and working to uphold that positioning within the community and the marketplace and winning your customers over and over again. Brand loyalty (becoming a lovemark) requires work just like a real-life romantic relationships or friendship. It must be earned. In the book, we’ll discuss branding and marketing topics from the engine to the caboose and everything in between. In using the train analogy, many concepts should stick sooner, which is why stories and imagery works so well in branding any product.

What should your train look like? Where do you want to take it? Why will others choose your train over the others? How will people find out about it? What will make the experience a pleasant one for passengers that will get them to buy a future ticket? Not only will the book be chock-full of tips, but also ask some important questions that will help steer your brand in the right direction from the future and help stay focused, “on track” against the many obstacles in our path. A big concern for little brands is budget. If I only have X in my pocket, how do I know Y is the right way to spend it to market my brand? I’ll discuss various scenarios on testing advertising and marketing channels to determine if you are hitting your target market and how to analyze the campaign to make improvements in the future.

If you own a small business or work with small businesses, and would to be an early reader for The Little Brand That Could, message me at malenalott (at) me (dot) com.

2013: The Year of Living Fully

I’m beginning 2013 with not only hope, but determination to live more fully. But what does that mean, really?  I’ve always written from my heart and have never felt like I’ve held back in my writing. But real life? I’ve probably held back. I’ve probably been more fearful than I should, and perhaps lived 2012 in more contemplation than gusto. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t busy, goodness, was I busy, but could I be more productive and within that more efficient? Absolutely.

I know I’m going to have to unwire a bit to make that happen. I’m going to focus on wellness, more social interaction in real life and being more assertive in business. Did I wait too much for things to come to me instead of going after them? All of this wrapped around the fact that I’m Type A so it never really feels like I’m resting on my laurels, but I’d like to shed the stress and worry that can accompany being Type A and focus on the tasks and not spending time where it doesn’t belong (usually online) and getting more accomplished off. I spend a lot of time with my kids, but I’m wondering how I can create a shift that feels more personal and less activity and errand-based. I’m a den mom and dance mom and they both provide joy for myself and my kids, but I know there is more we could do outside of those activities.

I am proud that I made real efforts to connect with my friends in 2012  - including a 40th birthday weekend at my friend Cynthia’s lake house with friends amidst tornado warnings – and in 2013 I’d like that to happen with my adoring husband, too. 18 years married and we both work like crazy and having three kids can be draining, physically and mentally. So even something as simple as a monthly lunch date will be a nice one-on-one improvement over last year. I’m also doing a monthly lunch with my mother-in-law who is the only mother I have (and she’s a good one!) I gave her that gift as a Christmas present. There. See? Getting out of the house twice a month for lunch that will require putting on mascara and cute clothes is a step in the right social direction.

Must, must commit to working out more regularly because when I work out physically, I feel better mentally. Everything is better. Which is why I’m kicking off a writer wellness program through Buzz Books this year and I hope 999 other writers join me. I know. I’m a fool for goals and numbers.

Living fully = not holding back, going for it, making the time, choosing wisely, loving completely, being in the present moment, creating alignment, connecting with nature and others and finding the joy in the little things. 

I’ll still be blogging weekly about creativity and zen here each week, but I’m going to be finding more of that in the DOING not in the thinking about it. My meditation and yoga I started in 2012 will gladly continue in the new year and as you can see from my projects, I feel more creative than ever and have definitely worked toward aligning more of my life (I don’t believe in the word “balance” as it puts things on opposite ends of each other.)

What are your WORDS for 2013? I’m going to hang these up next to my desk:

• focus
• give
• align
• connect

2013 Projects

• Writer Wellness program at Buzz Books, inspiring each other to live well and move more
• Dance Mom Survival Guide book with co-author Jill Martin (and aligns with our daughters’ dancing)
• Hope Floats short story and essay collection
• Family Charms women’s fiction novel, my fifth, and perhaps my last for awhile since I’m not writing a new one, to release summer 2013
• Twin Falls young adult series to launch this summer, so I’ll likely start on book 2 in the spring
• The Little Brand That Could branding business book, likely ready by spring
• Athena Institute branding and marketing clients’ projects and weekly branding tips on athenabuzz.com
• Publishing several authors’ books in 2013 over at Buzz Books, including Heather Davis, Magda Knight, Cara Brookins, Cyndy Hoenig, Dana Campbell, Rod Lott and Aaron Smith. I’m also hoping Dani Stone will have a summer novelette or novella ready for summer.

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What about you? What projects have you made for yourself for 2013? Let’s do this.