Summer and Taking Turns

The end of the school year is mocking me. I can hear summer coming, whistling and skipping closer to me while I shrink back into the shadows, covering my ears and pretending the days of “I’m bored” and endless interruption aren’t at hand.

As a mom, summer is a blessing. No more early morning ritual! Sleeping in (for them) and fewer chauffeur hours rocks. The downside is that as a work-at-home mom with a full-time workload (and getting bigger), I don’t get the quiet that I do when it’s just me and my dogs. 8:30 to 2:20 now becomes just numbers on the clock. Anxiety kicks in about this time because I get so accustomed to my daily grind that the slower pace and humanergy makes it harder for me to focus and get sh** done. Because that’s what it all boils down to.

Then again, I LOVE MY KIDS. GOD, THEY ARE GROWING UP FAST. I MUST TREASURE EVERY MOMENT!

Am I venting? A little, but there is a solution; one that was brought on when I realized it was a fantasy to get everyone together to do “family stuff.” It’s a concept we’ve been familiar with since childhood: taking turns.

Yes, I’m talking PATIENCE and waiting a bit. I’m also referring to taking turns with my loved ones. Besides going for sno cones, there isn’t much my kids (15 down to 8) agree on. I can sometimes get both boys to ride bikes with me. I can get my 13-year-old girl to go shopping or for pedis or a dance-related event. My hubby is always up for date night. My girlfriends go for wine and great conversation. My sisters crave sister time and so do I.  I NO LONGER WAIT FOR A PERFECT TIME TO DO ANYTHING.

If there was, guess what? I’d still be waiting.

Instead, I SAY YES to one-on-one activities that mean something to my kids, my friends, my husband, my sisters. The gallery below is a sample from the last week. It was a busy, wonderful, soul-filled week. I also worked my butt off for my clients and my authors. I took turns. And as summer approaches, I have to remember to keep doing that – taking turns with the summer camps and dance classes and book signings and writing and design and branding AND some R&R. For me, work/life balance isn’t a balancing act at all, but about taking turns and trying to be fully present in whatever you’re doing and whomever you’re doing it with.

What about you? What are your plans this summer? Are you good at taking turns in your life? How do you do it?

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On the book front, I’ll be sharing the covers for TWIN FALLS, my YA paranormal written under my pen name Lena Brown and my fifth women’s fiction novel, FAMILY CHARMS, in the next blog post so subscribe if you haven’t. If you’d like to be an early reader of EITHER book (summer releases), comment or message me on Facebook. xoM

EVENT ALERT: I’ll be signing books at Embassy Suites Norman Saturday from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. so come see me! I’ll have Something Wicked, Sleigh Ride, The Stork Reality, Something New and Dance Mom Survival Guide with me!

Dance Mom Forever Mix

My dance mom BFF Jill Martin and I are doing some videos to promote our new book, DANCE MOM SURVIVAL GUIDE. Of course you can make this healthy trail mix no matter what your kids – or you – are into. Enjoy! Nom, nom, dark chocolate chips!

True Do Track for living a You-Full 2013

For the Type A among us, a to-do list feels as automatic as brushing our teeth or blinking. So with that in mind, I created a True Do Track for my readers to join me in trying to live our best year yet. Less stress. Less drama. More fun. More adventure. More authentic relationships and actions. Not to just dream it, but do it. Living in truth means living the life we were uniquely meant to live, utilizing our gifts. Yes, it’s self-helpy because we all need that tap on the shoulder that reminds us to keep our mind, body, spirit in alignment.

For January, our True Do Track focus is Journaling. I’m including a daily prompt on my Facebook page, but you can certainly write whatever comes to mind! Writing not only helps our true selves surface and to deal with any issues we may be dealing with, but stating our dreams does help them come to fruition in our lives. (Law of Attraction, only put more action in the attraction.)

And each week I’ll include a giveaway. Since we’re journaling in January, that’s the weekly prize! Check out these cool colorful journals. Drawings are held on Friday and include those who have a) Liked my author page and b) have commented on the daily prompts or shared the picture posted at the top. The more active you are, the more entries you get. But even if all you are doing is reading it and actually journaling, I’m happy you are taking this step with me.

Book news:

Hope Floats is now available on Kindle! The short story and essay collection includes stories on loss and living on so if you have been affected by grief, you might relate to these situations. Topics include miscarriage, death of loved ones, suicide and my life as a motherless mother and how my feelings on gun control were shaped by gun violence in my life.

You're Invited to our NEXT LEFT NYE Bash

Reblogged from :

Well, we know you party people will be sharing your NYE shenanigans on Facebook, so we decided to provide a safe haven for all of your partying...er, safe HIVE, full of juicy reads, tons of giveaways and a grand prize including some of our 2013 titles!

All you have to do to "enter" the party, is fan our Facebook page…

Read more… 101 more words

Excited to celebrate Dani Stone's NEXT LEFT and be a part of the giveaways for New Year's Eve! Hope you'll join us on Facebook on NYE! http://www.facebook.com/buzzbooksusa

Kicking off the Sleigh Read Tour

It’s an honor to be the first driver in the Sleigh Read tour. My sleigh is shiny red, so glossy you can see winding down the road a mile away, led by beautiful Clydesdale horses featured in my Sleigh Ride: A Winter Anthology story, “Snowflakes and Stones.”

I’ve borrowed the hand-made purple scarf featured in my upcoming short story, “Pockets of Hope,” which will be released in an anthology of loss and living on, Hope Floats, in late December.

Of course I have a mug of Ghirardelli hot chocolate sitting beside me.

And in the back? The sleigh is full of great reads. Here’s a sampling of them.  So if you’ve been wanting to read one of my books, this is a great opportunity to buy one and get one free. My books included in the special are: Something New, Fixer Upper, The Stork Reality, Life’s a Beach and The Last Resort. Links to the books can be found on my Amazon Author Central page as well as on my books page on this site. Details on the promotion can be found here.

The holidays in the Lott household consist of Christmas movies, baking cookies, decorating the tree together (got a white one last year), and Scrabble by the fire.

I hope this holiday season brings you joy and love. The greatest gift is being in the present moment.

What are your holiday traditions?  Leave a comment for a chance to win a Sleigh Read ebook of your choice.

xo,

Malena

Happy Birthday to SOMETHING NEW and My Grams Who Raised Me

I know something BIG is happening this week and it’s a different kind of “something new.” Election for POTUS is 11/6 and Tuesdays are also typically the launch day for books, which is why I’m declaring Nov. 5th the official birthday of my fourth novel, SOMETHING NEW. It’s available in trade paperback and ebook. It happens to be the birthday for my grandmother who raised me, Zola Mae Brown, who passed away of heart disease when I was 19 (she was just 60). It’s odd that she’s now been gone longer than she was in my life. How is this possible?

My grandmother is still ever present in my life. Like all mothers do, she molded me into who I am today. Even though she left us before I graduated college or got married or had babies or published a book, it feels like she’s been there. For my third childbirth, I decided to use hypnobirthing (no drugs) and I brought a picture of my grandmother to keep on my hospital bedside table. Having her picture in the room made me feel like she was a part of it, just as she’s been a part of me raising my children ever since. I hear her words coming out of my mouth. Her actions in my own. She was a stay-at-home mom, a good cook, kept an immaculate house, loved to garden. She was an “old-fashioned” wife and mom, the type of woman who at least on the surface seemed okay with the “housewife” term and obligations. She quilted. She made me and my sisters matching dresses.

Zola Mae and Evans Brown, shortly after they were married.

She loved country music. She was cool with DIY projects. Even though she only went to school through 8th grade, education was very important to her. From the time I was little, I remember her talking about us going to college. In many ways, we are good at opposite things. She was a country girl who became a domestic goddess. The only thing domestic about me is that I work at home. She pulled off elaborate holidays with eighteen grandchildren. I loved watching she and my grandfather two-step in the living room. She had to stand on her tip-toes. She also had a big crush on Tom Selleck.

Yes, she was very proud of her girls. She saved every achievement. No doubt I could feel her pride and wanted to make her even prouder.

Can you tell I miss her? That I’m choked up thinking about her? She was only 4’11″ so I surpassed her in height in junior high. She became my “cute, little grandmother,” though that didn’t mean she wasn’t boss. She could be tough. She expected us to follow the rules. But, dang, she was cute.

I love to write about families and, in particular, generations of families. In Fixer Upper, I put three generations together on the vineyard in eastern Oklahoma in an old farm house. In Something New, I’ve put three generations together in a loft in downtown Oklahoma City. It’s not a long shot to say I fantasize about that, my grandmother, sisters and my children under one roof. But, then, I guess we really are, aren’t we?

I can still hear her saying:

“It takes two to tango.”

“Don’t get in the mud with the pigs.”

“Marry for love.”

“Things will be better in the morning.”

“Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

“Rise and shine!”

A little gallery in honor of my grams. And for my grandmother’s birthday, I hope you’ll tell your mother, grandmother and other loved ones in your life how special they are to you. xo-Malena

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Something Wicked Short Stories and Video

At Halloween, we all get to play make-believe. Last year my tween daughter and her best friend were zombie pageant girls. My eldest son was a werewolf for two years in a row so he could hide and scare trick or treaters. In stories, we get to experience those things “for real.” And as a writer I get to play make-believe every day. In SOMETHING WICKED, six writers offer six paranormal stories that play make-believe in the teen contemporary world. My own, written under pen name Lena Brown, is a modern revenge story between the goddess Athena and an old mythology that was ripe for Halloween, set on a fictional Mid-America University campus.

The short story collection is available as a trade paperback and ebook at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. If you like to read young adult paranormal or simply creepy short stories, I hope you’ll try it out.

CONTEST: Something Wicked Contest for a fun party pack and Trick or Treat blog tour HERE (send in the receipt for your book by Sunday to get registered and each blogger had a fun treat this week)

WHERE TO ORDER:

Trade paperback on Amazon $8.99

Best print deal-–>Trade paperback in the Buzz store - $7.99 if you use the $1.00 off coupon code MFVSBH4A at checkout

ebook at Amazon $3.99

ebook at B&N  $3.99

As this is a creativity blog, I also hope you’ll use this month to stretch your creative muscles – doing crafts, exploring the arts, and getting out and enjoying the splendors of Autumn.

I’m not creative because I have to be, but because I allow myself to be. I ask questions of the world and my characters answer. Below I’ve put together a fun video for October on how to paint a chevron pumpkin and other ideas.

Lastly, on this one year anniversary of Steve Jobs’ death, I’d like to thank him and Apple for everything they’ve given the world, and me, personally. I’ve used Apple products since college back in 1993 and at every job since. The iPhone allowed me to carry on business and motherhood, working from home. Apple understands how people think and Steve understood artistic vision. I’ll even forgive them for Apple maps since I’m sure they’ll fix it soon.

I’m stop 5 on our Something Wicked Trick or Treat blog tour and my treat is The Legend of Sleepy Hollow/Rip Vank Winkle and The Spectre Bridegroom paperback to one commenter as well as some fall Buzz Books bookmarks. In comments tell me your favorite dress-up costume you or one of your children have worn. 

The difference in persona and brand

per·so·na/pərˈsōnə/

Noun:

The aspect of someone’s character that is presented to or perceived by others. A role or character adopted by an author or an actor.

Source: Dictionary.com

As a brand strategist and creative director for both businesses and books, and socially-driven for both, I’m fascinated with the interplay between persona and brand. Likely I pay more attention to the far ends – those who clash and those who mesh them extremely well. In particular, I’m talking about the persona by representatives (soldiers, if you will) of a brand and the brand image that’s been created for the brand.

I’ll talk about in more detail about this in my first Little Brand book, The Little Brand That Could: Train Your Brand, coming in January.

I have to thank Dr. Phil and O Magazine for the inspiration for this post. In their “best advice ever” issue on stands now, it’s chock full of advice in all areas, and Dr. Phil tackled that of personal image. He made a good point about people judging you by your appearance and character. It’s why he says he comes out in a suit on his show. From the definition of persona above, we can see that it begins with us – the view we want others to have of us in the world. And then the next is up to those who see us – how they perceive us. They form an opinion and over time that opinion becomes fact. If someone were to ask about us, they would rattle off a list of our characteristics which come from our own behavior and image.

On another page, the beauty editor recommended three quick ways to look polished. (Good haircut, neat eyebrows, neat nails.) I’ll throw in there: not wearing your sweatpants out in public could help, too. I immediately checked the mirror. Hair and eyebrows, fine, but my nails have seen better days. It’s a weekly task I never get around to. But I fixed that. Putting self-care on our list is important for persona. You can still lounge in your pajamas all weekend long and no one will be the wiser. It wouldn’t kill me to wear real clothes when I go out. You never know who you’ll run into.

Next, we add our patterns of behavior:

kind or judgmental?

on time or tardy?

trustworthy or sketchy?

giver or taker?

Combine the two  with all the social media tools, including blogs, Facebook status updates, Twitter, et al and we have an online and real world persona created for us.

So what’s the big deal when it comes to our brand image? Yes, there’s a brand persona, too, carefully selected words, design and color to convey your product message to the world. It’s both factual, promotional and emotional. We do this. We are great because of this. We’ll make you feel this way. 

How could persona screw up a brand?

• Inconsistent messaging
• Sloppy or unprofessional image or behavior
• Misalignment between the values and characteristics of the person and the brand he/she is representing

There is also the case of the lazy brand, where it may have started gangbusters and then fizzled out over time. Sometimes we can connect the dots quickly because it’s a personal brand. (Authors fit into this category.) If your brand is a personal one, it’s even more important to stay under the umbrella of the brand image you are crafting. You don’t want to alienate your audience, who say, love you because of your cozy mysteries, with your opinions on the way the Universe ought to vote, raise their kids and worship. In this Internet age, there is really no such things as “these are my personal views, not reflective of the company I work for.” I mean, yes, we say that for legal reasons, but we  will still connect the person to the brand and if the person does something damaging, you can bet the company will call them out on it.

It’s a slippery slope to believe we can be too, too personal with “friends” on Facebook. They’ll remember if we’re too whiny, talk badly about people or ask for favors but never return them. Just look at what happened to a presidential candidate this week when words he thought he was saying in a small meeting were shared and dissected around the world? We must choose our words carefully, right? And not forget that old credo to “speak as if your grandmother were in the room.”

Sure, individual persona is a piece of the pie in our brand, but it’s a larger slice than we give it credit for.

Stuff I Love This Week

Downton Abbey - my hubby brought home the first two seasons on DVD for review and it’s everything the critics and fans say it is. The story, the characters, the setting – all hallmarks of a groundbreaking series. On PBS! Who would’ve thought? Can’t wait to see how they sweep the Emmy’s this weekend. (And get to see Jon Hamm again.)

Another short series I loved was The Crimson Petal and the White set in 1870s London. Goodness, it was riveting.

I’m looking forward to my husband’s Movie Clubbed event where he and several other funny guys mock Skatetown. If you’re in OKC, get your tickets before it’s sold out.

Got my lil guy a bow and arrow (youth sized of course) after months of him asking for one. Of course he lost the arrows on the first night, but Lordie he’s cute shooting them. He’s my Cub Scout and I love watching my children’s interests unfold.

My daughter said, “All my dance shows are over. What now?” Without Dance Moms and So You Think She Can Dance, she’s TV-less. I told her she’d just have to make due with her dancing in real life.

My oldest, a teen boy, has been especially kind to me this week. He even put a new screen protector on my phone without my asking. It’s sweet when a child who isn’t usually affectionate tosses some coins of random kindness my way. I’ll take whatever I can get.

Rock the week, friends.

 

Is it time to crack yourself open?

If happiness is life’s greatest reward, then for the creative soul, it requires giving ourselves permission to fully create.

Think about it: Often we live from our base self, ego speaking to other egos, superficial, small talk, and busy work. We’re hopefully acting civil, moving through our days with tasks both menial and major, but when it comes to our creative work, all of that must fall away. We unzip the outer shell and stand naked and raw before our work.

We strive for personal growth and improvement to hone our craft and make the changes necessary to fully align ourselves with our work. For me, it was making stories a central theme in my life, completing immersing myself in them for my own writing and supporting other authors on their journey. I also create stories for brands, which not only helps support my family, but is an exercise in creativity and commerce. Don’t think for a second that isn’t scary. You put yourself out there, thick skin or not. You hope what you’ve created will resonate and be rewarded.

Only you can truly own the word “hack” or “genius.” You know when you’re “phoning in” a project or truly giving your highest self to the work. I find I am most in the zone when I’m working on fiction projects. I get so lost in the stories, that if I didn’t set a timer, I’m not sure when I’d raise my head and blink out of that world and back into this one.
Holding ourselves back is never warranted in our fiction writing. Our characters are not us. I found that my main character in a mystery I’m writing is so angry that she cusses a lot and her anger surprises me, but it’s not up to me to tone her down. She’s taking me on this journey and I’m there for the ride, telling her story. Until it’s time for revision, I’m not altering what she’s giving me.

It’s just as unfair to muzzle your authentic self. I used to think there was something wrong with me for wanting to write in different genres and enjoying both the business and the artistic side of the creative business. I have wished my brain was wired differently, but that’s who I am. I would not be fulfilled doing just one thing day in and day out. Novelty is also a key to happiness, which is why I’m so thankful new books come out each week to provide a new landscape to play in while I’m rejuvenating my own spirit. It’s why I’m thankful I can wear many hats: author, brand strategist, executive editor, marketer, as well as mom and wife.

When I’ve found I haven’t created enough, I feel like I’m being suffocated. The “golden self” wants to break out of the societal shell and be heard. I’ve often said writing was my therapy, but now I know it’s even more than that: it’s soul food. Eat. Drink. Breathe. Write. Whatever that thing is for you, give yourself persmission to pursue it and express it wholly.

In my upcoming novel, Something New, that theme about our true identity and calling comes through with the analogy of wearing armor, the stage and the spotlight. All secrets eventually come into the light.
What themes are resonating in your life right now? Are you giving yourself permission to live wide open? Where and how can you carve that space for yourself?

Also on the web this week, my post, The Creative Ram: Dealing with Transitions is over on the Girlfriends Book Club blog.

Book News: SOMETHING NEW (mine) and DISTORTION by Lucie Smoker and SOMETHING WICKED (anthology) are  going out to reviewers. It’s always scary to see your stories take flight.

I’ve surpassed 21K on my mystery manuscript. I was disheartened to get a hardback in the mail for review yesterday that has a similar story to the one I’m writing. (At least from the title and description.) Of course it’s different, no two stories are exactly alike, but you always want to believe your story is the only one like it in the world. The way you handle that is a) don’t read the other person’s story b) work hard on your character and story promise to make it unique. Adding unexpected twists can help, too.

Got more wonderful advice in from authors to share in the Castle & Quill workshop coming up on 10/28. If you live in OK, AR, TX, KS, it will be worth the drive to come prep your novel before NANOWRIMO begins in November.