3 Reasons New Year’s​ Resolutions Don’t Stick (and How to Fix It)

With the scent of a new year on the winds, we resolve to change a few things so that life will be so.much.better. New Year’s Resolutions sound really good while the champagne is going down, but then we wake up with a reality hangover and say, “I promised WHAT?!”

Because research shows that only 8 percent of people actually keep their New Year’s resolutions, according to one commonly cited statistic. Yikes. Why the 92% failure rate?

>>>We don’t want to suffer to stick with it or make it happen.

>>>The goal wasn’t intentional. (In other words, we didn’t really mean it or it doesn’t matter that much.)

>>>We haven’t created a process to achieve and sustain them.

That’s literally it.

IMG_3814.PNGSuffering is uncomfortable and icky and basically sucks. We humans are rather easy on ourselves. Fast food? Easy! Making a healthier dinner at home? Harder! Sitting on our ass watching Netflix? Easy! Sweating at the gym for an hour a few times a week? Harder! Not buying the shiny thing we see online or in store we think we must have? Easy! Saying no and tucking that money into a savings account? Harder!

The goal maybe sounded good, but if we don’t want it really, really bad, we probably aren’t going to suffer for it. Human nature. Yet it is human nature to STRIVE, so a part of us really does yearn to keep at it and keep growing.

I’ve read that our changes have to “seem” easy for us to achieve them, which is really just a mind trick to insert those things into our daily regimen. I call it the BUMPER PLAN. If you can BUMP a new habit into an existing one it makes it easier – not because we are lazy – because are anything but that in my opinion. Here’s how the bumper plan works:  I am more likely to go work at my co-share space after I’ve worked out at the gym because I’ve already left the house and it’s okay if I work there make-up free. I’m more likely to get my cardio in first thing in the morning if I just walk in my neighborhood just after my coffee but before I set my ass down to work. I’m more likely to go to the gym just after I’ve dropped my son off at school in the morning because there is not “getting ready” and getting sweaty later doesn’t seem to work for me mid-day. So, yeah, plug those goals in where they feel more do-able, but know some adjustments must still be made, convenient or not. Same goes for our WORK and side-hustle and hobbies.

If we haven’t made the changes necessary for change to occur and created a new habit to make the goal stick, then we have no support mechanism in place to achieve success. We have to make those incremental changes and stick to them by planning and following through. Are you willing to put the time, energy and money behind that resolution? It will require frequency and do something over and over again.

Case in point: I want an organized closet which means every time I remove my clothing, it must go in the hamper and I must hang up my clothes and I must put my shoes back in their specific spot. Over and over again. It’s a habit now. I’m happy. I don’t lose things like I used to, which feels like a crazy miracle. But if I slack….hello, pile. You’re hideous. G’bye.

Regarding my health, I want to keep my energy up and live in a high-frequency mode so that means I have to work out each day, get at least 7.5 hours of sleep and not drink that “extra” glass of wine at night, which can be haaaard, y’all. A-hem. I know if I break any of those, my energy will suffer, which means my productivity and mood nosedive, as well. Funny how that works. So, yeah, consistency and discipline are both keys.

Below I’m including my takeaways from BETTER THAN BEFORE by Gretchen Rubin from my podcast to shed some light on breaking bad habits and forming new ones. If you love reading, you could, of course, buy the book. It’s a keeper on my shelf for sure.

Final note – you know what I freaking love about us being in the Magic 8% that will make our goals a reality in 2018? THE 8 IS AN INFINITY SYMBOL. 2018 INCLUDES THE INFINITY SYMBOL. In my One Bow/Many Arrows brand program, I call it the Artemis Infinity Loop for living our best life: awareness, assessment, and action, over and over again. Yep. We’ve got this.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, loves!

xoxo,

Malena

P.S. I’m accepting a couple more monthly retainer clients to my roster in 2018 to help them grow. I appreciate your referrals!

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