How to Win Friends & Influence People for Real

I guess we could just cut to the chase and say, “don’t be a d-bag, don’t be a beyotch,” but of course it goes way beyond that. (Good starting point, though!)fullsizerender-5

When I decided I needed a good ol’ kick in my party pants to get my own personal brand in order so I could help clients with theirs, I knew I wanted to start back up a podcast and I knew right away the first mentor & book I wanted to discuss: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Before I learned about Dale in my early 20s at my corporate gig as a marketing coordinator, I got my “start” in radio in high school and I did happen to get my degree in radio and TV at the University of Oklahoma, so, hey, folks, with my freshly frequent YouTube channel (latest video: STOP PLAYING SMALL) and my new podcast ONE BOW MANY ARROWS over on Soundcloud (and soon on iTunes when I figure it out), I’m feeling like I’m hitting a pace here. Why? I did for my own brand(s) what I do for yours – set an editorial calendar and guidelines and creative brief and marketing mix and BOOM! – here we are.

Putting your personal brand out there means connecting with people where THEY hang out with the media they prefer. For some, that’s reading, and others like video and even longer format podcasts.

Switching up your channels is a great way to get a shorter or longer message to the audience.

For VIDEO, I’m doing a Bow & Arrows themed message each week over on YouTube to discuss strategies to grow your personal brand and small biz. This week’s vid inspired by Glennon’s new book LOVE WARRIOR in which she was talking about people trying to keep you small/invisible. So I wanted to talk about the “voices” of people who believe they have your best interest…but they aren’t you and don’t know your truth.

Now to the PODCAST!

A podcast gives you as the host/messenger more time to discuss your message and relay STORIES. My first 12 episodes are book reviews in a half hour or less with my 5 GOLDEN ARROWS from each book. You can take a listen at Soundcloud for now...until I get the RSS feed up on iTunes. Leave a comment and share the podcast on social media and tag me @malenalott and you’ll be registered to win a copy of the book I’m reviewing in my first podcast, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE IN THE DIGITAL AGE. Great freaking book. It was hard to just pick 5 lessons but each of them carry a lot of weight. Golden Arrow #1 is DEVELOP YOUR SOFT SKILLS.

What else?

Another format for sharing a message are workshops, and mine are 1.5 hours. For those in the OKC area, my next PERSONAL BRANDING POWER workshop is coming up so click through to read about it and register early for the discounted rate.

My home life has been just as busy, and I love this time of year. It’s homecoming week in my neck of the woods for my Pom daughter in high school and I have a big Alpha Chi Omega reunion to celebrate our Psi Centennial on the OU campus. If you follow me on social media, you’ll get to see all the fancy party pics and then game day pics as the Sooners take on #2 Ohio State. Wishing for a big win for my Sooners.

Also, coming soon are BOW & ARROW PJ STRATEGY SESSIONS! That’s a one-hour video session with me in the mornings certain days of the week so I can help entrepreneurs across the country with their branding and marketing questions. Super stoked about it. If you want to know about it before anyone else, use the form on my speaking page with what date/morning time you’d like (between 8:30 and 10:30 a.m. CST time) and I’ll send you over the registration and confirmation.

I’m also adding MINI STYLE SESSIONS over at Sooner Spaces for OKC area folks who want a strategy session for their home or office space makeover OR a staging session if you are selling your home. I’ll be announcing that over on Facebook.com/SoonerSpaces.

Wow. Okay, time for the homecoming parade.

Onward xoxo,

Malena

Meet Bejeweled Mermaid Deanne Beaudoin

If you believe like I do that one door closing means another opens, you’ll love this week’s Mermaid Tale. Sometimes doors get slammed shut – you lose a job, you get divorced, your kids leave the house – and that forces us to stare at a new door, a new opportunity – and I hope before we reach for that handle that we bring with us the intention to go for our passions. What have you always wanted to do that you haven’t done? What feels “over” in your life and what unfinished/unfulfilled dreams still lurk in your soul?

My assistant Melanie Thomas – who is helping me open lots of fabulous doors – introduced me to this week’s mermaid, Deanne Beaudoin, who transplanted her family to Oklahoma – new state door! – and launched her dream to make jewelry. Mermaid Pearls of Wisdom in bold for us to think upon and treasure.

Mermaid Deanna
Mermaid Deanne

ML: Hello, Deanne. Thanks for taking the time to tell us about your story and beautiful jewelry at Felicity Designs. What was that moment you made the deep dive for your dream in starting your jewelry line?

DB: In August of 2005, my family embarked on the adventure of our lives.  My husband, Jerome, and I, along with our four children, moved from Calgary, Alberta, Canada to Edmond, Oklahoma.  This was no small feat, and our little family unit went through a great deal of adjustment.

Prior to our move, I was a practicing Speech Language Pathologist, and worked ¾ time in my Private Practice.  Although I was qualified to continue working in the US, I decided to take 1 year off to help with our family’s adjustment to life in Oklahoma.  This year was filled with school volunteering, play dates, birthday parties, slumber parties and extra-curricular activities.  Although this was very fulfilling and helped our children to acclimate, my desire to create was ever-present and I decided to also spend time designing jewelry.  I had always enjoyed creating jewelry for family and friends, and lifting their moods with one of my pieces.  It was fabulous to have supportive and often constructive feedback to help me hone my skills and develop a sense of style.

MelissaGreenPhotography5-7At the encouragement of my family and friends, I decided to try my hand at selling my jewelry.   My first sale was on Ebay, and although I didn’t really make any money with this sale, I was hooked and my confidence slightly boosted.  I opened my first online shop in February of 2007 on Ruby Lane (a large marketplace for Artisan Jewelry, Antiques and Collectables), and “Felicity Jewelry Designs” was born.  I began to quickly learn about posting online, taking photographs and customer service.  Simultaneously, I was working hard to increase and improve my jewelry making and design skills.   I began to devote more and more time to my jewelry making and selling, and the idea of going back to Speech Language Pathology became less important. Although I did experience moments of insecurity and doubt, my new business allowed me to follow my passion, design and create, and feel productive while taking care of my young family.   With constant encouragement from my husband, my business evolved and grew, and I began to sell at trunk and art/craft shows, consign in boutiques and rent space in vendor’s marketplaces.  As well, I have  always worked to increase my online presence.

ML: Entrepreneurship is all about experimenting, revising and growing. Congrats on your success, Deanne. Working can be so taxing, even when it’s something we love. What brings a smile to your face?

DB: My family consistently brings a smile to my face.  I so enjoy interacting with the young adults that my husband and I have raised (now aged 23, 22, 19 and 17 years). I am in awe of the kind and caring people they have become.  In 2015, our eldest daughter married a wonderful young man, and we are so excited that our family has grown, and God willing, will continue to do so.

I strongly believe that gratitude is fundamental to true contentment and happiness.  Practicing gratitude does take effort, but I find that consciously doing so insulates me from the discouragement that often results from comparing to others and “keeping score”.  Deflecting thoughts of jealousy, revenge and envy can often be achieved by simply taking a moment to realize and define your negative feeling and replace it with thoughts of thankfulness.

ML: Our get real moment. Share with us a challenge and how you worked through it.

DB: One of the biggest challenges that I have faced is our children leaving home to pursue their University educations.  While feeling happy and proud that they are working towards becoming independent and functioning members of our community, I feel a strong of strong sense of loneliness and a yearning for the days when they were young and their lives revolved around our home and family.

My lovely 98-year-old grandmother has always said that life is a series of phases, and that each phase should be embraced and assessed in terms of positivity and novelty.  As we move through our own phases, it is good to define what we are experiencing and find the goodness that there is.  Rather than mourn the losses from a previous phase, try to see what your new phase holds and choose to enjoy!

My grandmother’s wisdom has been crucial in helping me to  deal with inevitable change and to look forward to a future that  includes children with whom you can develop friendships, new in laws and of course, grand-children!!

ML: That’s so relevant to so many of our readers, Deanne. I’ve been going through that as my senior is about to head to college in the fall and my teens are so independent. It’s TOUGH on mamas. How cool that your grandmother provides such wisdom for you, too. I’d love to hear how you practice enlightened living – presence, intention, action. What inspires you?

DB: I recently read and identified with an essay entitled, “Power of Letting Go” by Rev. J Martin Page. In this essay Page asserts that, “God is only in the present moment.”  He writes that by dwelling on regrets of the past, you are blocking God’s love from fully entering your life.  In addition, if you only focus and worry about the future, Page insists that you are doubting God’s plan.  This is not to say that the past should not be learned from and the future not thought about.  However, I do believe that placing trust in God’s plan for our lives and learning to appreciate our present situation helps to better achieve a context of enlightened and positive living. For me personally, it is when I am in such a frame of mind that my creativity and design abilities are at their best.

ML: We absolutely only have Now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us today, Deanne. Mermaids, please treat yourself or another mermaid in your life to one of Deanne’s pretty pieces, which can be  found locally here…

  • Best of Books (Edmond Oklahoma)
  • Sparkles (Bethany, Oklahoma)
  • Feathered Nest (Warr Acres, Oklahoma)
  • Showplace Market (Moore and Stillwater)
  • Serendipity Market (Edmond, Oklahoma)

And online at:

–   http://felicityjewelrydesigns.com

To living in the deep,

Malena